The right thing to say to a woman at the right time.

Small Talk, What to Say to a Woman When You First Meet Her.

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Small Talk With a Woman. The right thing to say to a woman at the right time part 6.

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Free Information

When we communicate with one another, we reveal much more than we realize. The information that we volunteer is called free information. When you ask or answer a ritual question, be aware of the free information that accompanies the answer. Focus on this, and use it as conversational fuel for follow-up questions. By focusing on the free information we can explore each other's experiences and interests in a natural and free-flowing manner.

Telling Others What You Do If They Ask.

Some women feel uncomfortable if others ask them the ritual question "What do you do?" They feel people will stereotype them or make assumptions based on how they earn a living. No one likes being put into a pigeonhole, but if you get angry or become resistant when asked about your profession, you'll throw cold water on the conversation. It is not a good first question to ask when you meet a woman, being ready with a short answer is useful.

If you like talking about your profession, then reveal some free information and see if the woman shows more interest. After a few sentences about your line of work, it's fine to ask what she does for a living. For example, you can say, "So now you know a little about what I do for work. What about you?" If, however, you prefer not to discuss your work, still answer the question in a word or two. Then add free information about what you do want to talk about. For example, you might say, "To pay the bills I work as an attorney for a bank, but my real passion is French cooking."

You can reveal other basic facts about yourself, while guiding the direction of the conversation. If you insist on not disclosing this information, the woman could slowly become suspicious (especially if she has given out that information or lose interest in trying to get to know you. If you expect to be friends with this woman, how long can you withhold this basic information?

Many people who don't like to tell others what they do are also anxious about other types of ritual questions. They feel small talk is dull and boring, and should be avoided. Instead, they say they want to talk about something important.

While there isn't a particular order as to how conversations should proceed, most conversation that do not go through the "Ritual" phases rarely proceed to deeper and more meaningful levels. Small talk is a very important element in conversations with women and in establishing friendships and relationships.

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