Attracting The Man of Your Dreams and Self-Confidence
 
FREE Dating Advice For Women

Attracting Great Men and Your Self-Confidence

  Get Comfortable in Your Own Skin and Attract
     The Man of Your Dreams.

This a series of articles about attracting great men and your self-esteem and self-confidence.

Ladies there are many ways to attract and keep the man you want.  If you have the time, the best way to start is by flirting to the point that he knows that you want him to make his move now.

To see articles on flirting Click Here.

Make yourself very  approachable. Being open is the key ingredient for attracting men, and it is easy to achieve.  Just put yourself in their shoes.  As soon as you become acutely aware that the guy across the room is incredibly nervous about meeting you, you will naturally do whatever you can to put him at ease. You will instantly become more approachable.  

So, flirt first, then make your-self very approachable.  

If there is no time, take action and approach that great man you want and flirt like crazy so he does not leave; or ask for his phone number.

But to be successful at any of this you need to be comfortable in your own skin. Your attitude toward yourself is your self-esteem. Self-esteem is not the same as self-confidence; understanding the difference is important if you are going to get comfortable in your own skin.

  Self-esteem is not a thing - it is a process.

  Self-esteem is not fixed - it is dynamic.

The word esteem means value. Self-esteem is how we value ourselves and we are constantly valuing, judging or discounting ourselves. Negative self-talk is an example of judging or discounting:  "I'll never get good at this,"  "I'm not good looking."

To flirt successfully, you need to stop discounting and start accepting yourself unconditionally.

Self-confidence, on the other hand, is not about who you are. It's about what you can do. There are things you do well and things you may not have mastered (such as flirting). Your self-confidence is an assessment of your skills in certain areas of life.

If you have the belief "there is not failure-only feedback," then you can stop making harsh judgments about yourself. By not making judgments you leave yourself open to learning and to getting better at those things you have yet to master. When viewed in this light you can develop and build your self-confidence and your flirting skills without affecting your self-esteem.

When you like yourself and are comfortable with who you are, you will relate to other people in a more appealing way. You'll appear quietly confident rather than looking as though you are trying to get your needs met by others. There are some people, however, who just don't get the difference between confidence and arrogance. For flirting you need to get this - confidence is good, arrogance is not.

Now you may never have been to Spain and can't speak Spanish, but if you're happy to book a plane ticket, fly to Madrid, catch a taxi to a hotel and then find your way to anywhere in the city - that's self-confidence. Sure, you might get lost but you'd be resourceful and buy a map and find your way, wouldn't you?

Everybody has things they feel very confident about doing.  We are guessing you feel reasonably confident you can tie your shoelaces, brush your teeth and dress yourself. There are many things you do with confidence that you didn't always do. As our fingers fly over the keyboard working on this book we can both remember a time when neither of us felt confident turning on a computer, let alone using one to write books, balance a checkbook, or bank on-line.

You might not yet feel hugely confident about going out there and flirting but you may feel really confident about who you are and the things you have already mastered. From experience you should be confident that if it can be learned you can learn it - whatever it is, it just takes information, practice and attitude. The confident approach is to say, "If someone else can do it, I can do it and I am going to have some fun learning." So take that attitude and wear it. Wear it in the way you stand, sit, breathe, and walk.

To be a confident flirt and to be in the "go for it" mood, you must let go of any past hurts and rejections. If you project any of your previous baggage, it will block your flirting success.

Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem  Click Here