Talk With a Man. The Right Thing
Closed and Open Ritual Questions
You might find yourself asking ritual question after question, and only getting one- or two-word answers. This is probably because you are asking "closed-ended" ritual questions instead of "open-ended" ritual questions.
Closed-ended ritual questions usually require only a yes or a no, or just a one- or two-word answer. They are "fishing questions" because you're looking for a "bite." Closed-ended questions are useful for breaking the ice and finding out some basic facts, but they are more effective when followed with an open-ended question. Open-ended ritual questions usually require a more detailed answer, and they encourage the man to talk. In addition, they provide an opportunity to reveal facts, opinions, feelings, and most important, plenty of free information. Closed-ended questions often begin with words like: Are? Do? Who? Where? and Which? Open-ended ritual questions commonly start with How? Why? In what way? How did you get involved? How can I get involved? "What" can be used as both an open- and closed-ended question.
Here are some common examples of closed-ended ritual questions.
Do you live around
Here are some example of open-ended ritual questions.
How did you find
These are just a few examples of closed-and open-ended ritual questions. Remember to follow closed questions with open-ended questions. In this way you can fish for topics of interest and then seek further information by asking open-ended questions.
Make your questions easy and straightforward. Most men are far more comfortable answering expected, easy-to-answer questions when they first meet a woman, rather than difficult or complicated questions that put them on the spot.
Some women think that they may offend the man if they ask ritual questions. They say they don't want to be too personal or pry. In most cases, the opposite is true. Most men feel flattered when someone notices them in a friendly way and shows a genuine interest. This usually encourage the man to talk.
It is also is very important that you be willing to answer ritual questions. Answering a closed-ended question with more than just a one- or two-word a answer shows that you are willing to talk. Your extended answer also offers the man more information to ask you about or an opportunity for him or her to share a related experience. For example, let's say a man you've just met asks you a closed-ended question like, Where are you from?" You can answer, "I grew up in ..., but I've been living in ... and working as a ... for the last five years."
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